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Gay San Francisco: Eyewitness Drummer                597
             VIRGO S: (Aug. 23 - Sep. 22): This month make your clean act even
                cleaner. Shower twice a day at the Y. Avoid sex with others. Tempt
                them instead by standing under the shower spray with a hardon.
                If uncut, spread a long, lingering time pulling back your delicious
                foreskin and sudsing your cockhead. This month your game is Turn-
                On-And-Turn-Down.
             VIRGO M: (Aug. 23 - Sep. 22): Your logic and hatred of disorder make
                you sickening to your friends. You are cold, unemotional, and often
                fall asleep while making love with your socks on. Virgo M’s make
                good bus drivers. You ought to try it.
             LIBRA S: (Sep. 23 - Oct. 22): Practice your artistry by learning how to do
                prison-style tattooing with pins and India ink. Find a pierce-able M
                and decorate the space between his balls and his asshole. Who cares
                if he objects? He IS an object.
             LIBRA M: (Sep. 23 - Oct. 22): If you haven’t, you should try hustling. You
                will be good at it. You should also be quick, as most Libras die of VD.
             SCORPIO S: (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): You are shrewd in business and in
                bed and cannot be trusted any farther than Bruce Jenner can toss
                a cow-pie discus. You have achieved the pinnacle of your late-night
                reputation because of your total lack of sexual ethics. Remember that
                most Scorpios are murdered and their passing is only back-page news.
             SCORPIO M: (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): Consider joining the Trappists. They
                keep their mouths shut. You kiss and tell. So it’s either the monastery
                or pursuit of an S who will sew your loose lips together.
             SAGITTARIUS S: (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): You are optimistic and enthu-
                siastic. You need a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack
                the talent a true Top man needs to hit his mark. Most Sagittarians
                are dope fiends. You are no exception. When you are on Quaaludes,
                people laugh at you a great deal.
             SAGITTARIUS M: (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Buy a stature of Saint Sebastian
                stuck full of arrows/eros. He is your patron this month as you will
                be besieged on all sides by the slings (good) and arrows (better) of
                outrageous (best) fortune-hunters. Be ready to suffer.
             CAPRICORN S: (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Post-holiday let-down should not
                affect you, as you have Lent to look forward to. Improve your perfor-
                mance as a Top by denying yourself half the sex you’re used to having
                and spending your new-found time building up your latent athletic
                skill. M’s will worship your pumped-up forearms.
             CAPRICORN M: (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): You are afraid to take risks. You
                don’t do enough of anything. All you ever want is to lie back with a
                fist up your thankless butt. No wonder there has never been a Cap-



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                HOW TO LEGALLY QUOTE FROM THIS BOOK
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